


Unburdened

by FleetofShippyShips



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Bottom Arthur, Canon Era, Exhibitionism, M/M, Masturbation, Porn with Feelings, Post-Magic Reveal, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 23:41:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9852230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetofShippyShips/pseuds/FleetofShippyShips
Summary: After a spell forces Arthur to spill his secrets, the relationship between he and Merlin has become strained. Merlin can't forget what he heard, nor can he resist following Arthur when he disappears at night.After all, Arthur said he wanted him there.





	

“I didn’t think you’d show up here.”

Merlin looked up from his study of the floor. Arthur looked tense, defensive. Dropping his gaze again, Merlin wondered who had cleaned the room, and what Arthur had told them about it.

The West Tower had been abandoned for as long as Merlin had been in Camelot. He’d once tried to explore it, but all entrances to it had been locked, and his one attempt at unlocking one with magic had almost got him caught.

“I was…curious,” Merlin said slowly. It was the wrong word to use. It wasn’t curiosity, it was something else.

There had been nothing else on his mind, since Arthur’s magic-induced confession. The entire business had been an awful, frightening embarrassment for everyone involved, and more had been revealed than Arthur’s secrets alone, but Merlin had been unable to brush it from his mind. Late at night, he would imagine what Arthur would look like, in this room, doing that to himself. It had distracted him from everything else.

“You were never meant to know about this. No one was.”

Arthur’s voice was tense, and Merlin looked at him again. Arthur looked the least kingly he had ever looked. Such nervousness looked strange on him.

“You invited me,” Merlin said softly. “I know you were under a spell, and that you weren’t yourself, but I…it’s hard forget.”

Almost without meaning to, Merlin swept his eyes over Arthur again. He’d followed him almost as soon as he’d sneaked off, late at night, avoiding the guards. He almost wished he’d waited. He wondered what he would have walked in on. Arthur had rambled at length about what he did in here, and at length, how much he wanted Merlin to join him.

He waited for Arthur to tell him to leave, or to swear him to secrecy, but he didn’t. Even at the time, after Merlin had killed the sorcerer responsible for the spell, he had not asked Merlin to stay silent. He hadn’t even been angry for all the lies. He hadn’t said anything at all.

Was that trust? Or embarrassment?

There was one other factor Merlin refused to think of. It was probably that.

“Would you like me to leave…Sire?”

Arthur licked his lips, his eyes darting about the room. “No. I can’t lie about that, can I?”

“You were under a spell.”

“That forced me to speak the truth about my…I was not able to lie.”

Merlin closed his eyes a moment. He’d known that, but still…

“I shouldn’t have come here,” he said, turning to go.

“No, wait!”

Merlin halted, his back to Arthur. He didn’t know what to do. He shouldn’t have followed him. He should have forgotten everything Arthur had said, and yet, he couldn’t.

“I want…if you want to, you can stay,” Arthur said.

Merlin turned. “Alright,” he said, after several moments of tense silence. “I’ll stay.”

Arthur nodded, and looked about the room again. It was more furnished than Merlin had expected. It was cold though, the fire unlit. Of course, if Arthur had servants cleaning it, he could explain it away as maintenance, but to light the fire would give away too much.

“I could light the fire for you,” he murmured, feeling out of place.

“No.”

Merlin turned his eyes back to Arthur. His voice was more normal, firm, commanding. It demanded attention, and Merlin was all too happy to obey something so familiar, when everything else was so different.

“You’re not my servant in here, Merlin.”

The way Arthur said his name made him shiver. It was soft, intimate.

“What am I then?” he asked.

A heavy silence followed his words. That question extended far beyond the stone walls of that room, and they both knew it.

“I want you to watch,” Arthur said, avoiding the question. “As you know, I’ve…I’ve thought of that. Often.”

Merlin’s breath hitched, as Arthur’s hands fell to his clothes. Slowly, he undressed, and Merlin watched as more and more skin was revealed. He felt jittery, unstable. Arthur seemed just as nervous, and once he was fully unclothed, he stood still for a moment.

Not knowing what to say, or do, Merlin was still also, except for his eyes. He was unable to stop himself from looking. It had been several days since he had seen Arthur in a state of undress during his duties. It had been several days since he’d been alone with him at all.

After a cursory glance, and then an exploration of the entirety of Arthur’s body, a third look revealed the effect Merlin’s gaze had on the king. Looking up to meet his eyes, Merlin wondered how Arthur could stand to be near him after everything that had happened.

“You don’t look at me like that often,” Arthur said, one of his hands at his own throat, caressing the skin there, sliding lower. “It took me a while to catch you at it, and once I did, I wished you’d do it more often.”

Merlin’s mouth went dry, and he was unable to think of a response. Arthur was stroking his own chest now. The candlelight made him glow almost golden, and Merlin wanted to touch, rather than watch.

“I never knew,” he murmured,

Arthur hummed, as if in agreement. His fingers were brushing his left nipple, teasing it into firmness. The worried creases on his brow had smoothed, and his cheeks had flushed. Merlin felt a stirring between his legs at the sight before him.

“I know,” Arthur breathed, his hand shifting to tease his other nipple. With his free hand, he gestured to one of the chairs.

Swallowing nervously, Merlin cross the room and sat down.

Arthur knelt on the floor in front of him, but still some distance away. There was a bundle next to him, as if he’d anticipated Merlin following him. Or maybe he always did this on the floor, rather than the bed, or the chairs. Regardless, the sight made Merlin grip the edge of his seat. Arthur noted the action, and his posture seemed to relax slightly, as his hands caressed his own skin, slowly, carefully.

“No one has ever watched me before,” he said. “Not like this.”

“Has it only ever been Gwen? No…no others to do…this?” Merlin found himself asking, before he realised he was crossing the line.

“No others, and Gwen was…Gwen was duty,” Arthur said. “Her feelings for Lancelot were made plain before it ever had a chance to be anything else.”

Merlin bit his lip to stop himself from asking more questions. He didn’t want to shift Arthur’s mood. He wanted to watch. He wanted to see this secret side of Arthur, that no one else had seen. These secret desires.

They fell silent. Arthur’s breathing was loud, and probably Merlin’s too. His eyes were darting constantly between Arthur’s expression, and his hands as they touched and caressed his body. Every time he looked up, Arthur’s gaze was fixed on his face. It made him shiver, and harden.

It was one thing for Arthur to have told him the things he had, under the influence of magic, but there was no magic at work now.

“Do you…do you li—”

“Yes.”

Arthur closed his eyes a moment, and then opened them as he finally ran his fingers over his length. Merlin moaned at the same time Arthur did. He gripped the edge of his seat tighter, as Arthur explored his own cock with gentle, slow fingers.

“I’ve thought of you, when I do this,” Arthur said softly, the sentence ending in a moan as he gripped himself more firmly.

Merlin’s eyes widened, and he met Arthur’s, and almost wished he hadn’t. The intensity in there made him shake.

“Watching, or…”

“Everything.”

Merlin shivered. He could scarcely believe Arthur would let him in the room at all, after everything that had happened, but to not only do this, but to say that? He closed his eyes in a grimace.

“Open your eyes,” Arthur said.

Even though it was not a command, and his tone was gentle, coaxing, Merlin obeyed as if it was barked at him.

“You can leave at any moment,” Arthur said, his eyes surprisingly sharp for such a relaxed, aroused expression.

His words were heavy with more than one meaning again, and Merlin dropped his eyes to watch the slow movement of his hand instead. He couldn’t imagine ever leaving Arthur, and he hadn’t, not even after what had happened. But he wasn’t brave enough to say it out loud.

Movement caught his eye, and he watched as Arthur reached for the bundle with his free hand, sliding his knees apart as he did. There were a few items in that bundle that made Merlin ache and throb, imagining Arthur using them, supplemented with the king’s own words.

His grip on the edge of his seat was now so tight he thought he could hear the wood creak. His breathing was harsh as he watched Arthur coat his fingers in oil, and then lean slightly back, and start touching behind his balls.

“When I first did this, it was curiosity,” Arthur said, spreading his knees a little wider, his finger rubbing, and circling, just out of sight. “I overheard some knights talking. I knew I wasn’t supposed to. That’s probably why I tried it.”

Merlin wanted to laugh, but he made a soft sound instead, as one of Arthur’s fingers started disappearing from sight, into his body. It was so like Arthur to have been stubborn like that, but impossible to be amused when his king was spread out before him, on the floor, touching himself that way.

“Then,” Arthur continued, his voice like a sigh, “it just felt too good to stop.”

Almost as if to prove his words, he released a soft moan, and his hips twitched slightly. Merlin shifted his gaze from his disappearing finger, to his face. Arthur’s eyes were still locked on Merlin, and it made him stand suddenly.

The movement didn’t seem to surprise or worry Arthur. Instead, he could see that he was working a second finger into himself, bracing himself with his free hand on his own spread thigh. As Merlin moved closer, Arthur’s expression became more aroused, and his soft moans became louder.

“It was years before you arrived,” Arthur said, his eyes half lidded, but still watching him. “I never wanted anyone to touch me, not like this, not like anything else either. I hated you at first, but after a while, I started imagining you were watching.”

Merlin kneeled down in front of him. Being closer only made it more arousing, as he could see every minute twitch of muscle, and the flex of Arthur’s wrist.

“Why?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Arthur said, his brow suddenly crinkling, as he moaned deeper than before, his hand now moving more sharply, pressing into him more firmly. “I just did. You were always there. You were always watching. You would say things that...just...you were just different, Merlin.”

Merlin closed his eyes for a moment again. And now Arthur knew why.

“Keep watching, please.”

Making a pained sound, Merlin did so. Arthur brought his other hand back to his cock, beginning to stroke. His every breath was a gasp, or a moan. The muscles of his abdomen were taut, defined. As were those of his arm as he continued to thrust his fingers into himself at an awkward angle.

“Why are you telling me this?” Merlin asked, clutching at his own clothed thighs to stop himself from touching.

Arthur met his eyes, and bit his lip, looking nervous again.

“I think it will make us even,” he said, his back arching slightly as he continued to touch himself while he talked. “For you to know that I fell in love with you, years ago. That I still am in love with you.”

Merlin’s breath caught in his throat.

“Even now?” he asked, incredulous.

“I kept this from you,” Arthur said. “I saw the way you looked at me sometimes, but I was too cowardly to say anything. I was too afraid of the repercussions. I was too obedient towards the rules.”

Merlin wanted to reach out and touch, to make him stop. How could he speak of such things while doing that to himself, while moaning like that?

Arthur’s hips were twitching now, his hand fast, and firm on his cock, and his fingers hard and deep where they disappeared into him.

“I wasted so many years, not just for me, but for you as well.”

“Arthur, you—”

“Maybe if I’d told you, then you would have told me.”

Merlin swallowed heavily.

“Show me,” Arthur said, softly, more of a moan than words. “Please, show me.”

Merlin knew what he meant, but he still had to ask. His eyes fixed on Arthur’s expression of desperate pleasure, he ignored all else.

“Show you what?”

Arthur made a desperate, whining sound. “ _Your eyes_!”

Merlin looked away, and clutched at his own thighs harder, until it hurt. He closed his eyes. His magic was welling up inside him in response to Arthur’s plea. Against his will. Or maybe, in an unhampered expression of his true desire, for Arthur to see his true self again. Without the danger. Without the shock, and betrayal.

“Please,” Arthur begged, his voice a broken, moaning sob. “I want to see them again. I want to see _you_ again!”

Merlin’s eyes opened before he’d made the decision to do so. He met Arthur’s gaze, feeling the magic coursing through him.

Arthur made a relieved sound, and a moment later, he found release, staring into the magic in Merlin’s eyes.


End file.
